Recommended Books for Divorce, Healing & Co-Parenting
Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? – Dr. Julie Smith
This book offers simple, effective tools for managing the emotional ups and downs that come with divorce, custody challenges, and co-parenting stress. It helps you build emotional resilience so you can stay grounded, regulate your nervous system, and respond — not react — in moments that normally feel overwhelming.
Atomic Habits – James Clear
Rebuilding your life after divorce happens one small shift at a time. This book shows you how to create steady, sustainable habits that support your mental health, your parenting, and your long-term stability. It’s especially helpful for anyone rebuilding routines, structure, and confidence during major life transition.
The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
Divorce and high-conflict co-parenting can leave deep emotional and physical imprints. This book explains how trauma affects the body and mind — and why certain triggers (like a message from your ex or a court deadline) can feel overwhelming. It guides you toward understanding your responses and developing pathways to true healing.
BIFF for Co-Parent Communication – Bill Eddy
For anyone communicating with a reactive, manipulative, or high-conflict co-parent, this book is essential. It teaches the BIFF method — Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm — which helps reduce conflict, protect your peace, and keep communication child-focused. It’s a powerful tool for making co-parenting communication calmer and more predictable.
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents – Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD
Many people navigating divorce realize that old patterns from childhood still affect how they handle conflict, boundaries, and relationships. This book helps you understand emotional immaturity — in yourself, in your parents, and in your ex — so you can break unhealthy cycles, strengthen your sense of self, and show up differently for your children.
The Origins of You – Vienna Pharaon
This book explores how early family patterns shape the partners we choose and the roles we fall into during conflict — including during divorce and co-parenting. It helps you recognize the generational patterns that may be influencing your behaviors today, empowering you to create healthier emotional habits and stronger relationships moving forward.
The Art of Letting Go – Nick Trenton
Letting go is one of the hardest—and most essential—parts of healing from divorce. This book guides you through releasing emotional attachment to the past, loosening the grip of resentment or hurt, and finding mental freedom. It’s ideal for anyone ready to step out of survival mode and reclaim inner peace.
The Gift of Fear – Gavin de Becker
This book teaches you how to trust your instincts, identify red flags, and protect yourself during periods of conflict, instability, or uncertainty. It’s particularly helpful for those dealing with controlling or threatening behavior during separation, helping you stay empowered, aware, and confident in your boundaries.
Healing from Hidden Abuse – Shannon Thomas, LCSW
Psychological abuse can be subtle but deeply damaging. This book walks you through the stages of healing from gaslighting, manipulation, emotional control, and narcissistic or covert abuse. It offers a clear roadmap for rebuilding your identity, strengthening boundaries, and recovering your emotional stability during or after a high-conflict marriage.